a tree is a reminder

My BABY turned 6 months old this week. :0 I cannot believe that the time has flown by so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was in the delivery room cursing my husband and asking him WHY we had decided to do this? and am I going to DIE? and other panic induced questions. I believe I also mentioned something about NEVER doing this again and begging the doctor to help me – at which point she whipped out the VACUUM and sucked that baby right out of me.

Funny, during all of it I just wanted them to get her out so I could GO TO SLEEP ALREADY, which is an odd thing to be thinking in the middle of childbirth. Really, it was quite hellish.

When it was all said and done though:

Isn't she divine?I had this. AMAZING.

That baby has changed rocked my world and my perception of life in general. How can you have a bad day when you wake up to this:

life is good

life is good

or this:

baby bird mouth

baby bird mouth

every day? My life is bliss with her in it. And don’t think for a moment I take it for granted. Stories like Maddie’s and Kayleigh’s keep me grounded in ways that hurt to think about. The truth is EVERY DAY parents lose babies. Each day is precious and we never know what lies around the corner.

Just yesterday I asked my husband to go for a walk with us, but he was too busy messing with the pool and worrying about the yard. It made me so angry, that he has such trouble taking time to just relax and enjoy our family. He has such a hard time just letting things be. All I know is, it will all be there tomorrow, but we may not. Who will care if the pool turns green? That would not be his regret, I am sure.

6 months of bliss and one to thank for it all. God is good.

edited to add:

Today I watched a ceremony outside the window of my library. This year two of my students lost their mother to a valiant battle with cervical cancer. Their mother and father documented their journey through a care page and in the end everyone grieved with them. The mother was so strong in her faith and I admired her courage so much. Her children are amazing. Today they stood stoically by the tree that was being dedicated in her honor. Their dad just a few steps away. A small gathering of her friends and family, along with the classmates of these students were gathered as well. The men adjusted their sunglasses and the women turned to wipe away a tear of grief.
No child should be without their mother and no mother should be without their child. I know that death is inevitable for all of us, yet I find little consolation in that. These children deserve to have their mother with them every step of the way.

One of their mother’s wishes was to create awareness about the vaccine for HPV, which is a leading cause of cervical cancer. Anyone can contract HPV and it is so easy to spread. The vaccine can prevent infection from the high risk strains. My daughter will be vaccinated and I hope yours will too. It can save lives, and hopefully more amazing children won’t lose their mothers to this awful cancer.

The tree is beautiful but it doesn’t take the place of their mother. It’s just a simple reminder to live life to the very fullest and have faith in God.


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2 responses to “a tree is a reminder

  1. Rebecca

    Well said. She looks just like you.

  2. julie

    enoy every minute of it. sounds like you are on the right track.

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